Wednesday, March 3, 2010


    Here is an interesting question for all of us. When faced with a situation that just really pisses you off, what do you do? Do you react or do you respond? Most people would say that the correct answer is to respond and they would be right, however what about on the inside. Think about it. Even though we may respond appropriately on the level of what is socially or politically correct, on the inside there may be a whole different scenario going on. We may wish any number of unfortunate things to happen to that person or use a passive aggressive approach and do something sarcastically to help them along or trip them up. Sound familiar? Oh come on you know you’ve done it, here’s an example:

     ‘Your co-worker, who already irritates you, makes another stupid comment at the most inappropriate time and then wants to engage you in conversation for the next 10 minutes talking about a topic that makes absolutely no sense to you. You laugh a little and excuse yourself politely, then go about your business. On the inside you are having a whole different conversation with yourself about that person and it does not involve sending them a nice bottle of wine.…..Later on you may “forget” to relay an important piece of information or do a small task that if left undone by you, you know will have to be done by that person….Day after day this goes on and things just seem to get worse even if on the outside we continue to try different approaches in responding correctly to the situation’….

     Sound familiar? It’s a vicious cycle and you can apply that type of scenario to any situation in life.

      Eventually we may end up confronting the individual or walking away from the situation completely. Then we have to try to sort through all of the feelings and attitudes that have built up over time and have added to our dysfunctional behavior. We justify that we tried every thing we could possibly have done, but don’t ya know, that same scenario keeps repeating itself in our lives over and over again in different situations.

     So how do we change it? One simple word can change everything. That word is BLESSING. Yes, that’s right blessing. Instead of cursing them, which is really what we secretly do in our heads with all of the negative thoughts and actions, why not try blessing them. It does not need to be anything more than just that one word spoken silently, secretly, with the same calm demeanor that we “respond” with on the outside. Phrase it if you like, any way you feel comfortable with, but do it no matter how you really feel, just do it.

     You may be asking ‘How can that possibly change anything?’ That takes us back to the fact that our thoughts create our reality. This includes what we think “about” other people. Play with that for a little while. If we think negatively ‘about their behavior’ or what we don’t like ‘about them’, our negativity invites more of the same ‘from them’. There is no expectation or anticipation of change. With a blessing, however there is an expectation or anticipation of change and there is no negativity in it, for either the other person or the self. This brings both people into alignment with ‘Oneness’. Now imagine if every one of us made this a practice?

     Let me end this with another thought. Does making this practice of blessing others when an irritating or uncomfortable situation comes in to play mean that our personalities have to change? Do we give up our sense of humor, our mannerisms, our personalities and become a bunch of pious and proper idiots. No. The blessing brings us into alignment with each other. It makes us more in tune to each others feelings and increases understanding, tolerance, and respect for one another’s place in this life. It may be a change that only occurs within us and not the other person. It may be a change in the circumstances or any combination, what makes it meaningful, is that there is no negativity coming from the self. It breeds empathy, compassion, laughter, and a positive attitude. That is what I want in my life…. How about you?

I see you….

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