Monday, January 28, 2013

I Am Looking For Miracles!

I Am Looking For Miracles!

 I have begun a journey that is rocking my world at a deeper level than I have experienced in a long time. Here is how it started.

I was perusing through my junk mail file to see if there was anything of interest or importance and as usual, some of my mail from my “safe sender” list ended up there so I retrieved it. One of the emails was from our building link, entitled “May Cause Miracles”. I don’t know about you but I am always looking for synchronicity and this subject line intrigued me, so my curiosity compelled me to read it. It was an invitation to join a book club for the new book by Gabrielle Bernstein “May Cause Miracles”. Hmm, well this was exciting considering that I have been asking for a miracle in my life that would get me out of my isolation, self-doubt, and general stuckness. Ok I looked it up and “stuckness” is not a real word, I just made it up because that is how I was feeling “stuck”.

 You see about 3 months ago, I lost my J.O.B. and  decided that it is time to move on out of the medical field and pursue my passion again for the second time. The first time was about 2 years ago when I started this blog. Two years ago, well the money ran out and back to work, I went. Before long, I lost my drive to be passionate about my passion. I gave up.

For a long time since then, the bubbles of desire and inspiration have been coming up from somewhere deep in my being.  My higher self has been planning and conspiring with me to get me to finally take that last step, but I just would not do it. I continued to make up reasons why I could not do anything about it because I needed to pay off this or that debt first and have a clear idea about what I am going to do. Sounds logical right? However, like most of us I just could not bring myself to the point of actually following through with starting down that path to make it happen so… the universe did it for me.

OK, so back to the miracles. Instead of deliberating over whether or not I should join this group (which is what I normally do), I immediately shot off an email to the poster and expressed my interest. Days went by and no response. I thought, “with my luck she probably never even received my email” and with that I sent another one, even though it was past the deadline. Sure enough she had not received my email and again I would normally just have blown it off and assumed that it was not meant to be. We established a date and I was excited about actually meeting people in my building that had an interest in something that interests me! Believe me that was a miracle in and of itself as I have felt very segregated from people with similar interests for a very long time. Not that I didn’t have opportunities to meet and interact with people, just that the people that I was meeting and interacting with did not share similar interests. Very bizarre and very lonely!

(I am sharing some of this because I truly believe that there are others out there going through similar circumstances. Feeling and thinking that they are somehow flawed or feeling confused, as I was.)

Upon meeting the women in the group for the first time, there were many similarities such as we are all professionals, all unmarried, and all looking for miracles in some part of our lives. We spoke of goals, of relationships, work, and difficulties in all of these areas, and we became instantly connected with compassion, concern, and loving support for one another. What I found to be the final confirmation for me to start believing in miracles again is that two of us are Sagittarians and two of us are Aries. If you are laughing at me now and saying “oh, so what!”, the two signs are as compatible as any two signs can be! It sealed the bond and we all knew it!

The following two weeks would be spent in the first 14 days of the books teachings and exercises on our own due to personal commitments/out of town engagements and such, but we all vowed to keep in touch via email. Into week 2 we have not managed to be as diligent as we would like however, there is an understanding that we are all likely to get busy and will meet at the designated time on January 30th to continue our bonding and sharing of this experience.

For myself, I can tell you that doing the daily short readings, quick meditations, and journaling, I am amazed at the miracle of this book. It has inspired me to actually follow through with all of these things because I can see how, by breaking it down into such manageable bites, this is something that I can and want to do! Why? I am ready for change. I am ready to make a difference in other peoples lives and not just my own. I want to be successful at my endeavors instead of in a constant cycle of trial, failure, and resignation.

 I am already seeing some significant shifts in that I am noticing my own self destructive thoughts. I am becoming willing to acknowledge them and forgive myself for having them. I am becoming willing to allow myself to love…myself… maybe even for the first time…

If this is something that draws you in and you want to experience it for yourself, get this book and invite some other women to join you in forming a book club. You won’t regret it and “It May Cause Miracles!”
I will be creating other blog posts on some of the miracles that I am experiencing as well as some of the insights that I have while doing this work. I hope you will come back and follow me on this adventure….